brooks04

08:46 pm: Haven't posted in ages...

Truth is, facebook is consuming my internet time, and I don't think that I'm alone in this love/hate relationship.

Life is grand. I could complain, but I won't. I shouldn't. It's been awhile since things have been this mucked up/this wonderful all at the same time and even longer since I've felt completely happy about it all, despite said mucked-upedness. In fact, I have to enjoy the mucking up because really, why not? I can't be upset about it. Things will be messed up. The fact is, there are wonderful things, and that's what counts.

Rehearsals are soooo good. I'm so happy to have a script in my hands and working (and I mean really working) on a show again. And the people I work with are a million times more experienced than I am, so I'm learning a ton. But I also feel like I'm already way behind everyone else, and catching on a little too slow. Need to work on that...

Work is work. I don't hate being a receptionist, I don't love it either. But I work with some great people, so it makes the day go a little easier.

Holly is now home and I'm completely jealous. I would love to be home right now. Out in our garden, eating our vegetables, hanging out with the 'rents (who I miss totally and completely most of the time). Would love to be with the fam right now....

But, I'm sticking with it here, because this is what I want to do with life. And I'm starting to make some friends, so it's beginning to get a little more comfortable here.

11:33 pm: Got off work Saturday, met up with Holly, and we started browsing Robson street.

Got home, decided to go out and meet some people. So we dressed up, parked the jeep, headed to a restaurant/bar and ordered food and drinks. The only person we met was a creepy guy who said "heeelllo ladies.... want some company?!" .... uh, awkward.

Got up Sunday, went to brunch. Ate the most delicious three slices of french toast, two sausages, two pieces of bacon and two eggs ever prepared. Went to the Jeep, Holly nearly had a heart attack trying to get out of her downhill parallel park in a standard and nearly rear-ended the audi in front of us. So we decided to wait until his meter ran out, came back to his car and drove away so we could move.

Went to a Flea Market, bought an ugly TV stand for $5 and decided to paint it.

Went to Canadian Tired, bought cherry red spray paint for the TV stand. Found a nice (cheap) linen closet for our towels. Bought more cherry red spray paint.

Started to spray paint our new furniture. Ran out of cherry red, Holly went and bought all that Canadian Tire had in that colour and still only got everything half painted.

Now we have half of our linen closet (which hasn't been assembled yet) coloured cherry and in pieces all over our apartment, and a TV stand Fire Pepper red (we had to figure something out...) currently in use.

Being here kicks ass (and I mean that).

02:45 pm: I had the most wonderful day yesterday.

I had today and yesterday off so yesterday I decided that it was time I went browsing around a couple places in Vancouver that I hadn't seen yet.

So off I went to Main Street and found some of the most awesome clothing shops. There were mosly independent clothing designers from Vancouver, and a few cosignment shops. Being broke, I bought nothing. But I it was wonderful to walk around in the sunshine. Everyone was out yesterday... browsing, strolling, enjoying the warm weather.

Then I went to Commercial Drive, stopped by a bread shop and got some fresh bread and hot crossed buns. Then I went to a little corner store and got some fresh veggies.

I walked home, ran into Drove (I never run into anyone I know here because I really don't know anyone), said a brief hello, got home and relaxed for the rest of the evening.

It was a lovely, lovely day.

I'm going out tonight to meet up with Kate and Pearl from work. There's a managers meeting at the Keg, so us lowly sales associates are having our own meeting at Red Robin.

I'm also going to take some pictures of all the cherry blossoms that are in bloom. They are Beau-ti-ful!

It is so good to be here.

03:37 pm: I'm backstabbing the shoe shop.

I'm heading out for an interview at an office to be an assistant of some sort. Well, I'll be an assistant if I get the job. If not, I will just be selling shoes for awhile longer.

I'm in the library right now researching acting stuff. Turns out that a talent agency I got a call from 3 weeks ago (who's waiting on a Demo reel from me that I can't seem to put together) is a good agency. I am SLACK! What is my problem?!?! Why can't I get my ass moving on this?!

I am kicking myself everyday for not doing more of what I want in life and less of what I hate. I need to change life. I need to get out of the shoe business and into something that will let me do what I want

Real life is messed up.

Grown up business has left me slightly frazzled. I feel thrown for a loop.

Mind you, I didn't expect everything to work out and fall on my lap within moments of arriving here. But I did expect that I would be a little more diligent with starting my acting career. For some reason, I've turned out to be more concerned with getting up in the mornings to go to work than I am concerned about getting up and looking for auditions/agents/workshops/classes... argh.

I am very mad at myself.

01:27 pm: Today is the first say since being here that I've felt completely not happy. I hate my job. I think about going back to work tomorrow and I cringe. Maybe if I had another job I'd feel better. Or maybe if I was doing more acting work I'd feel like I was actually here doing what I want to do.

I think though that it's a lot of impatience. Maybe frustration with myself.

On a brighter note, I signed up with a background agency today. Which should make me feel happier. But I guess I'm just despairing today. I don't feel like I'm in place here, and I don't feel like there's anything for me back in Newfoundland. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm feeling a little in limbo.

I tried sushi for the first time Friday night. I went out with the girls I work with, and actually had a great time. The sushi was really not so good. An irish girl I worked with and myself were trying it for the first time and we both nearly threw up on each other. It wasn't the taste... it was the texture of raw fish.... gross.

But all the other stuff was good. The sushi rolls that had veggies and cooked crab. I tried eel and octopus too. And it wasn't so bad.

I now want to go buy and lobster and eat it. I forgot I like sea food... cooked sea food.

11:26 pm: I was told by Karla to update, so here it is:

I am being visited by my father. He bought a ticket a few months ago to visit me and my sister. So here he is, hanging out. I went to Port Alberni this weekend. My boss was actually nice and let me off work early so I could catch the bus in time. However, I'm scheduled to work the whole time that dad is here so in that way my job runs my life.

I did manage to send out a bunch of parcels to agencies in hopes that someone is interested. I may never hear from them, but whatever. I'll send out more. I'll keep sending them out until someone is interested.

I'm going out for sushi with some of the girls I work with on Friday. I work with a girl from Ireland who's going back home Saturday. She's never tried sushi either. So the girls at work are having a going away party for her, and a welcoming party for me. So the Irish girl and myself are hitting a pub at 6 until everyone gets off work at 9. We'll be well prepared to try sushi at that point.

Our fleas are gone (we hope). We are assuming now that we're fumigated that the fleas are dead. We also have a new furnace and a new hot water tank. We're content with all this work our landlord is putting in to make us happy.

I'm going to bed because I have to work again tomorrow morning, but Pearl, a girl I work with, is bringing me free breakfast. So that's something to look forward too. I like the people I work with. I don't know about this shoe selling though...

I'm off to get some much needed sleep and give my poor feet a break.

11:54 am: I hate my job.

I'm going to take my new shoes and quit.

Eventually.

When I have something else to fall back on that doesn't consume my whole life, then I'll quit.

Until then the shoe boutique pretty much owns my life.

Other then that, life is good. The apartment is good, the neighbourhood is good, vancouver in general is very good. I am happy when I'm not working, or thinking of work.

09:49 pm: So we're here, in our new place, pretty much settled away. Holly's got the kitchen looking lovely, I managed to arrange the furniture in the living room, and now Bun even has a little house that Holly bought for him yesterday. We're quite cozy here.

Laura left a few days ago to work on a cruise ship, only she had to fly to Florida, and she was having some trouble with her recruiting agent, so now we have no idea if she made it out all right. We're assuming she did.

My new job is not my career of choice. I mean, it's shoes and boots, and they're all lovely, but who wants to be selling $600 boots for the rest of their life...?! Certainly not me.

Our other apartment neighbour (we share a wall with him) is from Squamish, and he's a little strange... he has a habit of walking by our window and stopping to stare in... it's a little freaky I must say. But Holly and I could take him, no problem.

I'm figuring out Vancouver. And the more I begin to piece all of it together, the smaller it seems. I'm really familiar with downtown, and I can boot around there no problem. I can't say that I miss home too much, though I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it at all. What I wouldn't give for another stroll down water street, a pop in to Hava Java, a good evening at the ship and a nice dirty breakfast at the Celtic Hearth at 2 am...

but I'm comfortable here, and content. My new bed is lovely. Glad I listened to Holly and got the mattress I loved, and not the mattress that was cheap. Glad I got that lovely duvet to cuddle up in every night. Glad I spent the extra on a chest of drawers so I could finally stop living out of my suitcase.

Glad I signed that lease... makes it less easy to give up (which I wouldn't have done easily anyway).

Another day, another dollar... back to work tomorrow.

04:49 pm: Got a job, got a new apartment, got my headshots done, got a lovely neighbourhood to walk to and from work everyday. I am more content than I thought I would be here.

Holly and I signed our lease a few days ago and it ties us to the apartment until next year this time. I've signed a year of my life over to this city. That doesn't bother me in the least because I like it here, and I don't care if this acting thing takes some time to get moving because I have patience. This is where I want to be, and I'm here.

I haven't been able to stop buying things for our apartment. Cookie sheets, bread pans, a whisk, a brita water filter, new pillows, a wine rack.... I am ridiculously excited, annoyingly so I imagine. But I don't care.

I start work at a shoe boutique downtown on Sunday. It'll help pay the bills and sustain me.

My next big purchase is going to be a laptop, so I want to start saving as soon as possible.

Ikea on Saturday to buy much needed furniture for my room, as I can't share Holly's bed with her forever.

07:49 pm: Oh RELIEF!
At LAST! Holly and I have an apartment, with a nice landlord, our own rooms, a nice place in general and a washer and dryer as a bonus. We are relieved. We thought that we'd have to spend another day tomorrow scouring the city for a place to live. Instead we can relax and start making plans to move.

Soon a trip to Ikea would come in handy as I need a bed to sleep in and a place to put my clothes.

The neighbourhood is lovely too. We're very excited about it.

Actually, a job would come in handy right about now too...

I applied to be an ebay customer service representative in a Burnaby office... sounds like it could be interesting. And, discounts in ebay a bonus.

I had a Croisscram for brunch at a cafe we all ate at today... a cheese omelette sandwiched between a croissant... it was tasty.

I'm also thinking about getting a scooter, or a motorcycle. I have to research it all and maybe purchase it in the summer. It should be cheaper than a car. And better on gas. And just what I need to boot around the city.

I'm starting to feel a little more settled here and less like I've just dropped by for an extended vacation. I'll feel better once I can stop living out of my suitcase.

01:25 pm: This weekend has been incredibly busy.

We spent the whole weekend relentlessly looking for a place to live. All day Saturday, all day Sunday, and Holly came home from work yesterday with four more places to see, so off we went again.

I cannot tell you how dumpy some of these places are. People say they have 2 or 3 bedroom places, but what they've done is changed a really tiny den into a room, or a dining room that doesn't have a door and say that it's a room, then jack up the price.

Sunday we were completely deflated, so we ordered dominoes to cheer us up. It worked wonders.

We actually saw a place last night that was really lovely, with a nice landlord, and good security. We're keeping our fingers crossed for that one. But I have no idea when he's going to chose his tenants, so we're waiting it out, and still looking too.

After all the searching last night, Holly had an audition for Autobahn, so Laura and I waited out in the car for her. But she showed up after leaving the car for a couple of minutes to tell us that it was actually an open audition, so the both of us went in too. It was funny, it was almost like being in Grenfell again, the three of us sitting outside and waiting to go in. We all walked out with a call back for three different parts, so that's what was the funniest thing about it.

Holly's opening was lovely too. Laura and I were very proud of her. We were worse than two mothers sitting in the audience, I'm sure everyone knew that she was our girl, so to speak.

Now I'm off to buy birthday party supplies for Peter's birthday party. I think I'll be going to the island tomorrow to visit Lori and to be there to help with Peter's big day. That's if I don't get a job interview anytime within the next couple of days.

08:03 pm: I have seen it all.

I've discovered, since being here, that Holly loves her new vacuum cleaner. But I realized tonight exactly how much....

Bun is shedding, so I watched Holly put the vacuum hose on Bun tonight and suck up his shedding fur while it was still somewhat attached to him. And the rabbit just sat there and let her do it.

Hilarious.

I bought a skirt today at Banana Republic on sale. Only $25.

And I bought more groceries.

Holly, Laura and I watched 90210 tonight and realized how terribly cheesey it really was.

I'd love to be doing more at this point, but I keep reminding myself I just got here, and getting a job is going to take a little more time than a few days. I'll be busy soon enough.

Until then, Laura and I are keeping ourselves entertained by watching old Law and Order re-runs (dun-dun).

03:15 pm: Got up this morning, fumbled around the cramped living space for clothes and a clean towel, got cleaned up, had a brief chat with Elizabeth, and headed out to find my way to the bus stop.

Got on the bus, had a lovely chat with the bus driver who helped me with my transfer, got to the airport, waited for Laura to arrive.

While waiting for Laura, I was approached by a lady who described her son to me, told me his name was Jordon, asked me to tell him if he started walking out of arrivals that his mom was here but that she really had to go pee. I saw no one with Jordon's description enter the arrivals area, and never saw the lady again either.

Met Laura, got her to Holly's apartment, went to the Mall to eat and grocery shop, came back here to have coffee.

Somewhere in the middle of conversation over coffee Laura dozed off. She is fast asleep now, Elizabeth is at school, Holly is working and apartment searching at the same time, and I am pretty much alone.

I am also very content.

I am happy here.

03:32 pm: So, I managed to make it to Vancouver without getting on a plane that crashed head first into the earth. Needless to say, that relieved me somewhat. I did have my connecting flight cancelled in Toronto and had to figure that mess out but it's all done with now and I'm here.

Holly's apartment is lovely. But we're going to look for something closer to downtown, and with more bedrooms to accomadate all three of us. Apparently there's nothing but old people in this building, and surrounding buildings, so it's a pretty quiet place.

I'm waiting for Holly to get home from her line run so we can go to Ikea and do some shopping for said new place (when we actually get it). And for things I had to leave at home.

Lori came to get me at the airport yesterday. She's wonderful, but she's also very maternal. So I kept hearing 'don't go out after dark', and 'you're in a good neighbourhood now, why would you leave it?' It'll be harder work reassuring her than it would be to reassure mom. She bought Holly and I supper, and brought me treats. She's very excited I'm here. She's happy to have some family close by.

I'm going to seriously start the job hunt tomorrow. But right now I'm still jetlagged and useless. I just want to get so sleep and get rid of my headache.

Wow, Vancouver! I'm excited!

09:24 pm: I've decided that downtown St. John's is my favourite place. I plan to buy a house down there one day and make it my home base, a place to crash between travels.

I've been spending a lot of time downtown, walking water steet and duckworth street, popping in and out of little stores, ducking into Hava Java to warm up and get some coffee, strolling from one place to the next, sometimes with company, sometimes by myself. Either way, always loving it.

This past month has been lovely. I am purely and totally content.

I spent all night in town, mostly downtown, and never got home until 7:30 this morning. I walked in the door and mom was getting ready for work. She looked at me and said "what were ya doin' atall?"

But I'm also very excited about moving, and I've changed my mind and decided not to be nervous at all. It's not how I like myself to be. I need to be more easy going. Whatever happens, happens.

I bought an Amy Winehouse CD on a whim without knowing if I'd like it or not, and now I love it.

I also bought a new Beck CD, which is also good, but I don't like it as much as some of his other stuff.

And I bought a Gnarls Barkley CD.

I think I'm set to go.

04:59 pm: I'm almost there
Mellowed out most of the morning after forcing myself to stay awake late last night in order to prepare my body for time changes when traveling. Now feel like I'm jet-lagged already.

Packed some things that I won't be needing in the next couple of days so I won't be rushing Friday night/early Saturday morning to get everything done.

Flaked out on my brother's bed (as his room was nice and toasty) and mellowed out some more in order to get over my pre-jet-lag headache.

Ate my Aunt Mary's delicious brown raisin bread with a hot cup of tea. Felt instantly better.

Ate some Life Cereal because I forgot what it tasted like.

Puttered around trying to make sure I haven't left anything lying around that I either need to pack (because I can't live without said things), or get out of my parents way (because they can't live with said things) while I'm gone.

Bought my sister-in-law a birthday gift.

Made phone calls to take care of some last minute things, the biggest one being a cell phone number change. The guy who took care of me let me keep my phone plan even though they don't have such a plan for people who live in Vancouver and have Vancouver numbers, and didn't charge me for changing my number.

I'm almost to the point of leaving...

07:10 pm: It's funny how after Christmas day has been completely said and done with, it suddenly feels like every Christmas commercial and sale are out of place. For me, it doesn't linger at all... Boxing day comes, and I'm ready to pack up the gifts, get rid of the Christmas cookies, and just take a break.

Our family has been addicted to the Dutch Blitz card game I got for Christmas. My sister-in-law has been unbeatable, and we've spent hours trying to take her down. Tonight we try Scotland Yard, but I have no doubt that the table will be cleared and Dutch Blitz will be dealt out again.

I thought today was Wednesday. Then I found out it was Thursday and all the plans I made for Friday are now for tomorrow. I kept saying to people today "I'll take care of that Friday", or "I'll meet you for coffee on Friday" without realizing that I was making plans for tomorrow. Christmas morning finally came and I stopped caring what day it was.

I've changed from being nervous to stomach sick about my move... I don't know why. This anxiety is driving me crazy and with only 9 days left to pack and get things taken care of before I go, I suppose I have good reason to be a little anxious.

On the bright side, some applications I sent away for help with my student loans have been approved, so that's a load off my mind, and less money I'll have to dish out when I'm broke in Vancouver and trying to get by.

My little niece is tugging at my arm and insisting that I let her play some games on the computer. So I guess I'm off...

12:30 am: With my car now sold, I'm completely dependent on my parents for rides, or asking their permission to take their car, which I haven't done since high school and feels completely strange. It makes me wish for public transit.

They go in town tomorrow to do some last minute frantic Christmas shopping.

I'm getting them to drop me off downtown so I can walk water street and stroll from shop to shop just browsing. I want it to be a nice relaxed day where I don't have to think about anything that stresses me out, or sends my heart in a frenzy of panic.

I talked to my brother tonight who was trying to make me feel better about flying (because it distresses me). He had an article from Life Magazine that had statistics on deaths caused by accidents:

Do you know that it more likely for you to slip on ice and kill yourself than it is for you to die in an airplane related death...???

It's more likely that you will kill yourself falling out of bed than it is for you to die on a plane.

There were more comparisons, like people who drown in bath tubs and pools, and people who accidently overdose, and people who die sky diving (which I guess is a sort of airplane related death, though not entirely)... etc. All of which ranked higher than dying from an airplane crash.

Somehow these morbid statistics made me feel slightly better about getting on a plane in just a couple weeks.

And this is one of the reasons why I need to take a nice long stroll downtown St. John's, so that I can get all this nonesense out of my system and just enjoy Christmas without having to worry about things I shouldn't let get to me.

06:54 pm: When Friday rolls around, my car will be officially for sale in the buy and sell. I'm fixing some small things on it now, and I've been without a car since Thursday, and I won't get it back until Wednesday. So I'm stranded in Dildo until then.

It's difficult not being able to pick up and move when ever I feel like it. I think I've taken it for granted. I'm now dependent on other people to get me out of the house, or to go do things I need to do.

Dad and I went to Wal-Mart to but my sister-in-law a waffle maker for Christmas. When we got to the check out, it rang in for $2!!! Two freaking dollars!! We kept it and got her a more expensive one, so I've been testing out the freakishly cheap waffle maker.

I've also been decorating for Christmas and I think I'm done... the tree is up, the outdoor lights are functioning, there's red ribbons all over the house and big red bows hanging from the windows.

It'll be a different Christmas this year with only mom, dad, and myself. A little quieter than usual... but it should be a nice holiday all the same.

10:48 pm: So, I believe it's official... I'm going to sell my car.

Dad and I had a long chat about it, and we both know that I could really use the money that selling my car can bring in. Otherwise, I'll be paying insurance to have it sit here at home in my yard, and I don't even get to use it.

It's a shame, because it's a good car and I had it the whole time I was in Corner Brook. It didn't give me any trouble (except when I ran it over a boulder... that was bad).

I'm a little sad about it, which is silly, because it's just a car.

That's it I guess, suck it up and get over it. Use the money for more important things. Like groceries, and rent. I need to eat and live.